The Ivory Tower

Looking back, I never saw it coming; the crash that is. I was too busy thinking of the future, or getting lost of how the past could have been, often blaming myself. The year was 2017 and I was walking on the highway of life, right on the line separating the world I was fed up with, and the one I knew existed. Life had been good ‘till then. Hard sure, but all the pretty things were there and to the outside world, I couldn’t have been happier. Sure, I made them think that, but inside I was rotten. Every move I made was for others; for their love that I didn’t know how to give myself, making each passing judgement so much more powerful to the fuel of my ever churning mind. Then it happened, the point of giving everything that I could give, only to be rejected one last time. My mind couldn’t handle it. I loved so deeply and just wanted to feel it back, but the world had other plans. Snap, crackle, pop, the trap door opened below me and I fell to the dark depths of truth. No amount of thinking can out manoeuvre the power of truth. Down there, I met the demons I held under lock and key. The ones who kept whispering my faults. They told me I wasn’t good enough and that I couldn’t be loved. But for some reason, in the darkness of the hole, I began to see what I hadn’t that whole time, my light reflecting in the glaze of their eyes. That peeking light grew stronger the deeper my focus turned to the love inside, illuminating the darkness that surrounded me. Those demons faded as the light grew stronger, disappearing fully at the realization of their source. It was me all along. Live Well ❤️